Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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