My cat gives me a boner
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
