How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
You've changed since you got that strap on
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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