Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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