i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
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