My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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