All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
