I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
BRING THE BAGELS
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
