hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
