This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
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