i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
