We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
