I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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