So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
