I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
