i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
