she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
