I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
