I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
