I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
