Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I need to calm my uterus...
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
