I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
