Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
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