So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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