I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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