wat bout pragnant strippers??
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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