Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Randomize
