trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
