i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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