Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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