I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
