Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
