What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
