I need help removing her.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
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