he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
