It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
