Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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