whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
