Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
