fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
i out mim tonsoeep
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
