i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
