Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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