Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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