I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
