From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Randomize
