I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
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