You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
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