yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
