I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
