I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
