Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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