is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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